White Noise.

I need to love more, work more,
If all I want is good.
I, myself, make it hard; to let myself go
My fearfulness hurts me
Like a hungry predator.
Pain is real, but so is hope
I used to laugh at my hearts plight,
Now nothing, could even make me smile.
Everything has a need for patience
Hope is what keeps us alive,
You’re drowning
But it’s too early to die
This is just the calm before the storm,
Everyone says you will be fine
In deafening silence
You can always rinse the surface but the stain will shine.
We are the devils
Let’s kill our fears and dance in death tonight.

x-x A tad bit of MIW influence.🌞 x-x

A Confusing Lie.

Muddle,
That’s what life is
What once mattered the most
In a maze of memories is lost.

Dysphoric,
Always thinking of putting yourself
In someone else’s shoes
Inculcating thoughts of being obsolete.

Lovelorn,
Fighting for something that never was yours
Slowly but surely
Losing their sight,
Under your radar.

Thantophonal,
Athazagoraphobic,
Afraid to be loved
Afraid to be remembered,
Ironic.

My Existence.

The entirety of my freshman year
I was like an apparition
Roamed through the gloomy corridors
Each with its own moans.

Tried to create a good impression
Staggered by the fear of slander and depression.

Victim of abnegation
Friendly abstention
Causing a series of awkward interviews and abreactions
I was an aberration
Craving for affection
Lacking the power of captivation.

Constantly castigated
For a choice I never made,
My life was a puzzle
Longing for coligation.

Harsh words used to hit very hard
No companion to comfort me like, fomentation.

Another despondent soul
Wandering,
Craving.