Lose Yourself.

Disclaimer – I wanted to write a poem on some things for weeks that were bugging me. But exams came in without knocking on the door. This is the final product after 4-weeks struggle. ;_; Have a great day. ❤️

When I was all alone

When I was searching for a home

Black clouds everywhere

So cynical,

Showers above me

Should I be sad or happy

That man before

I should have never been,

An item of comfort,

Which I found solace in

It had been a big burden

Carrying,

Aggravated by the masks

All around

Calling it an aberration

You say it reduces my reputation,

It’s the only ray of light I’ve got

In these clouds of darkness.

A better person

I had aimed to be

But the bullet, it,

Came back at me.

Wanted to change myself,

Help myself

Tried so hard to fit in

Everything was wrong

At the right moments

My world was at sixes and sevens.

This earth was rotating

And I was just waiting

For my veins

To be filled with glitter.

We write on this page of life

With ink of pain,

All that extra effort

Hopefully, didn’t die in vain.

Are they really as lovely and good

As they seem,

Are they really as cool

As they seem,

Just gambled everything

And faced my fears

To be broken down into tears.

Sunshine piercing through my eyes

My heart skips a beat

The mind glows,

Fires up every nerve

Like there’s no tomorrow.

These thoughts keep echoing

In the back of my head

Until each and every brain cell

They shred.

My clothes are worn,

My heart is torn

Tortured and toyed,

My patience is gone,

But I shall never admit defeat.

I wake up once again

My misery plays on repeat

I’m fading away

My knees are weak

My existence, petty,

I just wrote this so I could say

Mom’s spaghetti.

I slip into improbable fantasies

Without a trace of resistance

The ferocious thunder roars above

Snap back to reality.

I followed you into a dark place

I became your prey

Beautiful

How you did it with such grace.

I wake up once again,

For this beautiful sunshine

Singing my name in glee,

I wake up once again,

Knowing that a heart beats

In rhythm with mine.

My Existence.

The entirety of my freshman year
I was like an apparition
Roamed through the gloomy corridors
Each with its own moans.

Tried to create a good impression
Staggered by the fear of slander and depression.

Victim of abnegation
Friendly abstention
Causing a series of awkward interviews and abreactions
I was an aberration
Craving for affection
Lacking the power of captivation.

Constantly castigated
For a choice I never made,
My life was a puzzle
Longing for coligation.

Harsh words used to hit very hard
No companion to comfort me like, fomentation.

Another despondent soul
Wandering,
Craving.

Hypocrisy.

You’d call when you needed my help
You needed a book
Or a reminder of your worth
I threw myself into this predicament
By investing all my trust in you.

You taught me to follow the right way
You told me never to go astray
Now you’re doing all that stuff
Of which you warned me
It was depressing how you played me
Made my hell worser for me.

I hoped for great things to happen
You just destroyed an innocent soul
There’s no referee for life
Who’d penalize you for your foul.

No matter how much I try
I just can’t forget about the times
When we were like the sun and the moon.

But you made me feel
That I should earn your love
All this time I played the fool.

I was tired of being strong,
Some days the strong too need care.